Going Natural Woman

Today I was struck by an image of my daughter toddling out of the bathroom with light brown pigtails pointing straight out each side of her head, checkered button-up shirt layered with a pink turtleneck and denim flare jeans on…with a matchbox car in each of the back pockets…dragging her "blank" behind her, pacifier in mouth. As she waddled away, little pigeon-toed pink socks padding softly on the wood floor, I thought how precious this moment is, how precious each age and stage is and how grateful I am for this little girl, this toddler that will grow up to be a woman and whose companionship I hope to always hold close. One of the many things motherhood has taught me is the temporariness of life…

It's a shame that I don't always have these moments of clarity throughout every minute of my day, especially in the middle of my 3-year-old's meltdowns or when my 1-year-old is running away from me as I'm attempting to change her dirty diaper…being 8-months pregnant. Despite the fact that I struggle with some of the uncertainty that can come along with practicing NFP, I am finding out more and more what a blessing it is to be out of control of situations, because it makes me rely solely on God and not my own abilities, wisdom, or strength. Looking back, there are so many decisions that, if they would have been left to me, would have had led me down a completely different path. I am so grateful that God knows what I truly need to be happy, and what my soul needs to grow in holiness if I only say YES to Him!

"Only when God's spirit lives within us to the fullest, are we able to be most fully human. The only way to be filled with God's spirit is to empty ourselves of any false sense of who we are, or who we think we ought to be." – Michael Dubruiel