The Doctor's Office...

Have you ever been in your doctor’s office and the topic of birth control comes up? If you mention that you practice Natural Family Planning do they look at you like you are speaking a foreign language and you have something in your teeth? The purpose of this post is to hopefully give you a little insight into why that may be and possible hope for ways it can change.

As the spouse of someone in medical school, I have gotten a bit of a glimpse behind the curtain to how doctors can be trained. Maybe my husband’s experience is unique, but I doubt it. I remember when he was having his lectures during the “Sexuality and Reproduction” module that he came home pretty upset after the lecture on contraceptive methods was 89.5 minutes long about pills, IUDs, condoms, foams, etc, with the last 0.5 dedicated to the comment “oh—and some people use NFP but that doesn’t really work.”


Later, he heard the perennial joke about “What do you call people who practice NFP?”the answer, of course being: “Parents.”

This theme has continued and even worsened after he decided he wanted to practice ob/gyn and spent more time around some of the people who have ostensibly dedicated their lives to “women’s health.” On a daily basis, comments have been made about how they couldn’t conceive (pun intended) how doctors would choose to not do tubal ligations or prescribe birth control. One person talked about how with birth control every child is a wanted child, while another discussed the public health benefits and cost control achieved by contraception and sterilizations.

He reports that at the hospital he is currently working at that at least one out of every three c-sections ends with a tubal ligation. He regularly hears, “Oh, this is her fourth pregnancy? Are we tying her tubes?” as if they cannot begin to fathom the possibility of a fifth, sixth, seventh, etc. child.


In looking for residency programs, my husband has fortunately found a few hospitals that still practice medicine in line with the Church’s teachings. But the vast majority of programs are very unfriendly to NFP-only physicians. Residency programs run clinics where many women request birth control and an NFP-only doctor that is unwilling and unable to prescribe birth control would only slow business down and not be viewed as a team player.



However, there is hope. In the few programs that are friendly towards doctors that want to practice medicine in line with the Church’s teachings my husband has found that there are many residents that feel the same way he does. They have stood up for their beliefs, explained their position to their colleagues and are looking very much forward to providing care to women wanting to be taken seriously when talking about NFP.

Having had a baby a few months ago myself I have heard countless remarks from doctors about how I couldn’t possibly want another one anytime soon. Even as we were leaving the hospital to bring our new baby home, the nurse reminded us about taking precautions with spermicides and condoms immediately, implying and assuming that it would be devastating to have another one of those cute little babies anytime in the near future. I am saddened by this attitude but am hopeful and thankful for all of the practicing NFP-only doctors out there now and those to come in the future.
 
by Grace at Camp Patton

You're Not Alone

I friend of mine showed me this and I thought it was well done. Sometimes, it is just good to hear from a normal couple going through the same things most marriages go through. Bare with it....they are honest and refreshing. I like to have on hand good resources to show other couples just learning about NFP, but also as a reminder for myself...we aren't alone.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qFaIDMeb_GE

Coffee Talk: NFP

So I came across a great practial resource for more elaborate and method based talk on Natural Family Planning I thought I'd share.

The Magazine, Faith and Family, runs a blog and every Wednesday is devoted to NFP discussion.

Today's discussion involved nursing, wanting to wait a little to conceive, constant show of mucus and solving the problem of knowing when you ovulate...."peek" your interest?  ; )

Check it out! Faith and Family Blog

With Every Child Comes a Loaf of Bread

This is a beautiful reflection from my good friend Laurie. She and her husband Brandon live in Tennessee with their four gorgeous kids and she is expecting her fifth in June. I asked her if I could share this post on our blog, enjoy!

"This is a saying my mother in law told me several years ago and I treasure the words to this day especially when we find out we are having another baby! Yes we are expecting number five and we are all so excited. The ETA of this baby is June 9, 2011.
I love these words because it speaks to so many concerns when allowing God the opportunity to bless you with another little blessing. There are so many excuses that can keep us from taking the leap of faith and conceiving another baby. Some of those things are money, time, energy, lack of resources, lack of patience, to busy, to crazy, to messy, can't keep up. You name it I have said it to myself and have heard many other people say it as well. Thankfully as in exercising or training for a marathon you grow a little at a time. You are pushed a little further each day you train. The process with children begins with the pregnancy. The exhaustion, sickness, uncomfortableness, the pain, the varicose veins, the indigestion and whatever else you may face in your pregnancy. These are little acts of love through suffering that are preparing your heart for a new little person that will rock your world. For the funny, the bad, the ugly, the messy and mostly the wonderful each new little baby totally rocks my world. If I thought any differently I would be deceiving myself. The baby comes and the grace comes and your heart grows and stretches a little more each day. Everything stretches to the point that you look back after having your fifth baby and four seems super easy now. Yes five seems insanely crazy right now and you can't keep up with anything, but heck four is a breeze now. Take one away for a day and leave me with four and I have a break!


Lets step back for a minute when I had 1 I was 100% full and gave all that I had and thought there was nothing more within me left to give. No more patience, love, time, energy and no more money, but then sweet little two was conceived and the process began the grace began to flow, the grace did not come before we conceived but after and continues to flow from that point as it is needed. So two comes and wow does one child seem so easy because you are expanding and growing because of the grace of God. I think the grace of God is so evident in openness to life and having more children because I look at women with eight and ten children and I really believe it is not humanly possible and that is why there are so few people who take that leap so many times. They are having to rely heavily on God because their capacity is so limited. It all seems so unexplainable humanly speaking because the woman with one is 100% full and the woman with ten is the exact same. It is only explainable by the grace of God. He will always give the grace so take the leap when he is asking. I am not saying every family has to have a brood of 10, but I am saying God does have a number for each family and this is such an important area to listen and to put aside our worries and trust that if he asks us to bring another life into this world the grace will only come after we say yes after we take the leap."

A Mother's Touch Revives Her Baby

This is such a touching story (no pun intended) and I couldn't help but share....

Wipe Anyone?

Ok, three years ago, if you were to ask me if I wanted to know how to make homemade wipes I would have given you a "yea right" look. Being a first time mom and feeling somewhat overwhelmed, I wanted everything INSTANT and EASY. I still do however...


Now, two little munchkins later and my brain back to slightly functioning mode, I realize that our bank account slowing drains each month buying diapers and wipes.


I did the math. If you buy an 8 pack of wipes verses a four pack of paper towels(which you need for these), you save $10! After a couple months that's a new pair of shoes ; ) or you could just put that money into savings.


So...this seemed easy and simple enough. Hope you enjoy!


I learned about these homemade wipes here on the Frugal Wife = Wealthy Life blog.


Buy a Rubbermaid, Servin' Saver, 6 cup container. I know you can find them in a 3 pack (with 1 bigger and 1 smaller) but I haven't had much luck finding them by themselves. They are pretty much exactly the shape of 1/2 a roll of paper towels, with a rounded-edge square lid.

The paper towels that fit perfectly (once cut in half with a sharp knife) in them are the regular Bounty ones (not jumbo roll, I buy the 8 pack, makes 16 batches of wipes). I use 1/2 a wipe at a time. Though we recently discovered that the bigger roll Bounty towels that are separated into 1/2 size paper towels work great too if you just tear off a few of the paper towels before you cut them. Then they are already 1/2 sized and you don't have to tear them. (This is my husband's preference). My aunts swear by homemade wipes, but they also say that Bounty is the only brand that really works, so I haven't experimented much there.

To make them: stuff 1/2 a roll of paper towels into your tub. In a bowl, combine 1 1/4 cups water + 1 heaping Tb baby soap (I use the Wal-Mart brand Johnson & Johnsons copy). Pour over the top of the wipes. They probably need an hour to soak all the way through and then you can just pull out the cardboard in the middle and you're good to go.

Womb Weflections

Did you know rechem is the Hebrew word for womb, stemming from the root word racham, which means mercy, compassion, and to cherish?


It's kind of a funny word, like you can't say your "r"s and are trying to say room.


Getting to the point....


A few weekends ago, a group of couples from our parish traveled to listen to Christopher West, a humorously intelligent speaker who gives talks on Theology of the Body. I laughed my pants off, as did my husband who probably did a little too much and too loudly for sitting in the second row, but oh well.


As the Theology of the Body hints, he spoke all about our sexuality as men and women, the marriage relationship, sex, and how and why it relates to our whole existence. It was brilliantly done.


But one of points stuck with me, more than the others. It was a minor reference on our bodies as women and our wombs. He said, "Women, I'm sorry that the world has degraded you, has lied to you, has told you that your bodies are ugly and your fertility a curse. Your womb is blessed and your bodies are beautiful."


My womb is blessed? Huh, I honestly never thought about it like that. I know the Virgin Mary's was because she carried our Lord. But mine? Mine? Yes, because God asked me to be a mother and created me with this most awe invoking ability to carry life inside me.


I grew up in a home with 11 kids, respected life, my body, and knew I was a child of God. I also sometimes watched Dawson's Creek and Sex in the City, listened to Mariah Carey and Dave Mathews , occasionally glanced at In Style and People magazine, saw movies like Clueless, Sixteen Candles, and Grease. 


The outcome?  Amidst the strong convictions to love my vocation and my body.....faint whispering thoughts to have a perfect body like Jennifer Aniston or Jennifer Lopez or the carefree adventurous lifestyle of Carrie Bradshaw sometimes subtly make their appearances.




Somewhere in between knowing God created me and loving my vocation and then sometimes insecure and sometimes highly conscious and aware of the annoyance and pity that fertility and wombs seem to cause the world was my thinking.



What West and the Holy Spirit did for me:


Before TOB (Theology of the Body) Conference:
My body: My husband thinks my body is beautiful, however; I myself would like not to have chest that is as flat as a wheat field.
My fertility: It is a gift from God, but it sometimes makes me nervous.
My womb: After two children, it is fascinating that my stomach can expand three feet straight out and then shrink back into a smaller blubberish mass.


After TOB:


My body: Tears....I struggle to accept my body, but with it's "flaws" I AM beautiful because I am a woman and God made me beautiful.
My fertility: I'm so ashamed that I have not been more grateful for the gift of my fertility. I never want to take it for granted. Again, remind myself, to give it to God. It is not a curse or an embarrassment, it is and will always be a great blessing. My heart knows this.
My womb: For all its mystery and for all its matter, it is sacred.

But what for all of those women, some of them my friends, who were never even told otherwise? So many of us women are starving from a spiritual anorexia by not feeding our souls with the truth. Some have been lied to, or think happiness will come with total freedom and a perfect body. I hope TOB gets to more parishes and more people and help us understand on a whole new level the beautiful gift of our fertility and the freedom of holy marriage. How God depends on us to share the TRUTH, share our JOY, share our GRATITUDE about all aspects of what it means to be a woman and reclaim all its dignity and worth!

 I heard Christopher West speak in college several years ago, I've listened to his, "Theology of the Body" on cds three times. It took me this fourth time to understand that even though I may not agree with the modern view to get rid of my fertility or think I need surgery for the perfect body, part of my thoughts still carried this worldly residue that was hindering my full acceptance and joy about them.


It must have been a grace from God, to receive a change of heart this time around. I encourage anyone who is even in remote driving distance to get to one of his talks with your husband. It's awesome for marriage!!


Three cheers to my womb ; )